


Hermit Crabs and Cute RAs

by Fangirl_on_fire



Series: AUs, AUs, and AUs [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, College AU, Fluff, M/M, Meet-Cute, Pepper the crab, RA Steve, Strict Steve, Tony keeps hermit crabs in his college dorm, au prompts, hermit crabs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 10:53:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11781666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirl_on_fire/pseuds/Fangirl_on_fire
Summary: Steve closed his eyes and took a deep breath before turning to Tony."Tony", he said. There was an awkward pause. "Why is there a tank of hermit crabs in your closet?"au - 'You’re the RA and you’re trying to bust me for having hermit crabs'





	Hermit Crabs and Cute RAs

Steve stopped. He was on his nightly patrol down the corridors, listening for any parties or any people who were engaged in- well, _stuff._

 _If Bucky were here, he would call me a prude_ , Steve thought. It wasn't his fault he didn't like saying certain words in his mind. Besides, it was his mind, not Bucky's. Bucky could damn well think whatever he wanted in his own mind, and leave Steve's alone. 

Steve was the RA for Floor 4, which was notorious for its rather unusual occupants. Well, unusual was the polite term. Most people called them crazy. 

There was Natasha Romanoff, who people weren't allowed to take photos of and who was rumored to have killed all the passengers of a train during her supposed spy training in Siberia. She didn't confirm it, but she didn't deny it, either. 

There was Clint Barton, who was once found on top of the highest tree in campus, shooting an arrow at the nearest target store's logo, which was over a kilometer away. When Steve went to see if it had actually reached the store, he found that it had hit the bullseye. 

There was Thor Odinson, who people always accused of making up the name but insisted that it was real. He always carried around a stuffed hammer, which he claimed his parents had given him when he was a baby to honor his namesake. 

There was Loki Laufeyson, Thor's adopted brother, who got just as much shit as Thor did for his name, perhaps even more. He was cold, calculated, and had a silver-tongue that he could use to charm his way out of anything, or even into anything, like the room where the exam test papers were hidden. 

There was Bruce Banner, a mild-mannered student who everyone liked. Steve had never seen it, but many students swore that he had a terrible temper and that he'd once punched a hole through a wall. Steve didn't believe that, but he did see a dent in the wall once when he visited Bruce. 

And last but not least, there was Tony Stark, the larger-than-life genius who had more rumors and scandals surrounding him than the whole school combined. Maybe it was his arrogance, maybe it was his cockiness, maybe it was his stubbornness, but you either hated him to the ends of the world or loved him with all your heart. 

Steve fit into the latter category. 

He had been in love with Tony for years now. 

Steve was still thinking about Tony when he heard a chirping noise, and then a loud "Shh!". He looked at the door he'd just passed suspiciously. It was Tony's door. He stepped back and pressed his ear to the door. He heard another loud chirp. Well, it was halfway in between a chirp and a click.

"Shh, Steve's patrolling!" Tony hissed inside. "Pep, so help me" 

Pep? As in Pepper Potts? Steve seriously doubted that the elegant and dignified Pepper would be making the strange chirping that he was hearing inside the door. Steve waited for a moment, then knocked on the door three times. There was a loud "Shit!" Inside, and then scraping noises. Then, the door opened to reveal Tony, his hair messed up and his eyes wide. 

"Hey, Stevie!" Tony exclaimed. Tony and Steve weren't exactly friends, but Tony always addressed Steve with ridiculous nicknames anyway. "What's up?" 

"Nothing" Steve said. "I should ask what's up with you, considering you look so flustered. Are you hiding something?" 

Just because he was in love with Tony, it didn't mean that Tony got a free pass from campus rules. 

"No!" Tony practically yelled. "Of course not!" He lowered his voice slightly. 

Just then, another chirp sounded from indoors. Steve raised an eyebrow. "May I come in?" 

"No! I have private stuff in there!" Tony refused quickly. 

"What sort of stuff?" Steve pressed. 

"Uh-well, uh-machinery! Machinery, all over the floor! Wouldn't want your feet getting hurt now, do we?" Tony stuttered. 

"I'm wearing shoes, Tony" Steve dismissed. 

"Well, you can't come in my dorm with shoes! Cleanliness is next to godliness" Tony said instantly. 

"Tony. You are wearing shoes." Steve pointed out. Tony looked down at his shoes, and cursed under his breath. "Let me in." 

"Do you have a search warrant?" Tony asked pointedly. Steve sighed, frustrated. 

"RAs are granted automatic access to dorms if they suspect a student is breaking campus rules! Move aside, please" Even when Steve was annoyed, he was still polite. 

Muttering angrily under his breath, Tony stepped back into the dorm, letting Steve make his way in. As soon as Steve entered, he took a moment to observe Tony's room. It was messy, with piles of books piled up haphazardly in every corner and machinery scattered all over the ground. Steve began going around the room, inspecting every piece of furniture while Tony sat on the sofa like a sulky toddler.  

As Steve neared a large closet, he heard more chirping noises. 

Tony tensed. 

Steve threw the closet doors open. 

Inside was a large tank full of hermit crabs. 

Steve closed his eyes and took a deep breath before turning to Tony. 

"Tony", he said. There was an awkward pause. "Why is there a tank of hermit crabs in your closet?" 

"They didn't come out yet, don't judge them!" Tony tried. They stared at each other for a moment, before they both burst out laughing. They laughed for five minutes before Steve finally calmed down. 

"I'm sorry, but you can't keep them" Steve said regretfully. "It's against campus rules!" 

Tony looked at him sadly. "I found them all when they were just babies, and I raised them myself. I went to the beach and crawled around for hours trying to find them larger shells. I made sure to feed them only organic food. I talk to them, I sing them to sleep. Please, Steve. Don't make me get rid of them" Just as Steve was about to say something else, Tony jumped up and grabbed Steve's hand, making Steve blush. With his other hand, he opened the tank and reached in to pick up the smallest one. "Look at this one! She's the youngest. Her name is Pepper" Tony looked up at Steve with large, pleading eyes. "Could you get rid of her, Steve?" 

Steve couldn't stop himself from leaning in to kiss Tony. Tony made a noise of surprise, and pushed Steve away. Steve's heart stopped for a moment and he was about to begin apologizing when Tony said "We can't make out while holding my baby crab, Steve, are you crazy?" Tony carefully placed Pepper into the tank, closed the lid, and closed the closet.  

Then, he threw his arms around Steve and kissed him, pushing his tongue into Steve's mouth. Steve moaned into the kiss and pulled Tony closer, tangling his hand in Tony's soft hair and placing his other hand on Tony's waist. 

"I love you", Steve murmured into the kiss. Then, he froze and pulled away, already apologizing. "I'm so sorry, Tony, it's probably too early, you probably don't like me anyway-" 

"Shut up, idiot" Tony said, pulling him back in to kiss him again. "I love you, too" Tony navigated them to the sofa, and they collapsed onto it, Steve pushing Tony down so he was lying on it and climbing onto him, kissing him harder. Tony moaned and wrapped his arms around Steve, letting his hand rest on Steve's ass. Steve broke away for a moment to gasp for air, and Tony took that moment to ask "Does this mean I can keep my hermit crabs?" 

Steve kissed him again. "Definitely"

\---

Years later, at their wedding, Tony winked and told everyone that it was crabs that brought them together. 


End file.
